


In a Haze

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Fluff, Romance, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-19
Updated: 2008-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:19:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8740075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam’s always dreamt of other things. But after he’s faced life alone, he dreams of only one thing





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Don't own-don't sue
> 
> Reviews are my lifebllod

I live the rest of my life in a haze. 

 

I spend every waking moment taking life one second at a time. I can’t do anything else.

 

I treat the Impala, as I feared I would, as an extension of you. I don’t risk sending it to a garage to be fixed by someone else so I take late night mechanic classes. 

You’d laugh but it’s the only thing I can do for you. I have to do it right-for you.

 

I take life one hunt at a time, one breath at a time. I kill one witch then a ghost, I focus on the here and now, I don’t think about the future. 

 

I spent my childhood imaging college. I imaged living in the dorms, weaponless and alone but happy. When I was finally there all I could dream of was that perfect, impossible future. White pickett fences, a wife, two children, a dog.

 

After those dreams shrivel in the same fire that consumed my-would-be wife, I was then left with nothing but a single wish. One I’d had since I was old enough to realize it.

 

I wanted to be with you. I know that to be my only real dream, the only real wish I ever truly had. I wanted college, I wanted a family, but I’ve always dreamed of you.

 

And now? 

 

I dream of just closing my eyes and seeing you, of tasting you, of just being with you again. 

 

I dream of a day when I’ll grow so old I won’t be able to get from my lonely bed. 

 

I dream of a time when I open my eyes, I’ll see that blindly white light and openly embrace it because I know you’re on the other side. 

 

I live my life in a haze until the next moment we’re together again.


End file.
